Laos is a dirt-cheap country with very friendly, gracious people, amazing scenery, an extremely low crime rate, and great food. Just remember, DBAFI (Don’t be a F*****g Idiot).

For example:

• Spend the $10 to get a Lao SIM card. Things in Laos don’t always go to plan. Relying on wifi won’t work when you have an injury, motorbike breakdown etc. in the middle of nowhere. Spend the $10. DBAFI.

• If you rent a motorcycle (which I highly recommend – I had never ridden a motorbike ever before Laos, but I loved it), ALWAYS wear a helmet and ALWAYS wear long trousers and sturdy close-toed shoes. Have your travel insurance information with you at all times, in a place that other people can easily find it in an emergency. The vast majority of motorbikers have a fantastic time without incident, but just in case you’re not one of them, DBAFI.

• Outside of the main cities, Laos has little concept of health and safety. Paving stones sometimes turn over when you step on them. Trails sometimes have sinkholes that can twist your ankle. “Bridges” are often just a tree laid across a river, or a flimsy thing like the one in the picture above (which I had to cross). Guardrails (if they exist at all) may fall out when you push or pull on them. Always watch your step.

• Laos is really cheap. Enjoy that, but don’t get greedy. If you see a bus ticket, motorbike rental, meal, etc. on offer for 30% less than you can find it anywhere else, something is usually wrong. The “nice comfortable bus” might be overloaded with freight and livestock, and making huge detours. The motorbike might be an old, poorly maintained death trap. The normal prices are cheap enough. DBAFI.

• Don’t get stupid with drugs. All narcotics are illegal in Laos. They are tolerated in a few places, but know your boundaries. In Vang Vieng, for example, 3 bars have handwritten Happy Menus, and they’ll sell you almost anything upon request. The undercover police in each of those bars are watching you. You’ll rarely get in trouble in the bar, but if you leave the bar with ANYTHING, you WILL go to jail and you WILL pay a $250 fine to get out – more if you get argumentative. And no, your embassy won’t rescue you from your own stupidity. Generally, if you see drugs openly offered for sale, you can buy and use them there, in that spot – but don’t assume you can take them anywhere else.

• This close to the equator, dawn and dusk are very short. After a mountaintop sunset, you’ll have at most 35 minutes to get down before it’s too dark to see. Trails are full of trip hazards, handholds are often not secure, you may have to balance on narrow fallen logs. So when you climb to a sunset overlook, bring a headlamp, and as soon as the sun goes down, start walking.

• Know the metric system and the 24-hour clock. From one American to another, if you can’t think in kilometres, centimetres, litres, kilograms and Celsius, FIX that. BEFORE you arrive. Because no non-American understands the medieval measurement system used in our country.